How to find the Love that we Seek
we seek is ultimately found within
Imagine floating upon a beautiful blue ocean. You are there for quite awhile. And during this voyage Mother Nature shares her gentle and loving side as well as her rage and fury.
I often see romantic relationships in this way. We meet that special someone and suddenly we are captivated by their love, gentleness and personality. We become silently intrigued in the hopeful ways that we believe that “only” this person can potentially fulfill us.
At first, this longing is out of our awareness but as the blissful 18 months comes to a close the Truth of our spiritual longings surface. Thoughts of lack suddenly appear. They manifest themselves as continuous loops within the mind. We begin to question is this person right for me? Why doesn’t he or she give me the attention he/she once did? We wonder. We doubt. We long. We seek. We are hungry!
But what we are most hungry for cannot be found in an earthly relationship. Because at the core of our Being is a desire to know who we truly are … and to connect with that awareness.
I believe romantic relationships are a gift. They offer us a divine opportunity to look deeply inside ourselves. And if we are courageous enough to stay the course and study the self (within the relationship) we discover a love that surpasses our previous consciousness. Through commitment comes Grace and every long-term relationship opens us to a more profound love for the self – and this hard earned love for the self overflows into our other relationships and then into the collective. Committed relationships expose our brokenness, our longings, our vulnerabilities the spaces where growth and transformation are needed.
However, this life’s work is no easy task! I have found great help through many resources. I want to share a few of my favorites. I pray that this may help you to find the love that you are seeking - because the love that we ultimately seek is discovered within.
Recommended to be read as a couple but if one of you is more motivated than the other then please read alone
Daring Greatly by Brené Brown, Ph.D.
for women only by Shaunti Feldhahn
for men only by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn
Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D.
The Heart of Relationship by Adyashanti
The One of Us: Living From the Heart of Illumined Relationship by Mukti and Adyashanti [available through Amazon and Audible]
Cover image courtesy of Hutomo Abrianto